is known for it's LAN Parties, it is famous for it's "Cosy atmosphere" (Source: PC Zone) and it's insane CS matches.

What it is not famous for is Paintball... Until feb 2001 that was when Roweb decided to go and play CounterStrike for real! I'll let Ze Jarra tell you the story:

Apologies for the late review but given the energy expenditure over that weekend, I think we all deserved some respite! The bruises and "battle scars" of that Saturday's paintball scuffle are simply an amusing memory now, thank god…

Our February Roweb event was definitely a LAN with a twist. We decided that dishing out the pain in CS simply wasn't enough for some of us, why not give it a try for real, well without the silly looking hostages, bombs and we thought we would substitute real bullets for paintballs, because apparently they hurt a bit a less. Yes, sandwiched between the fest and its frantic ingredients we slotted a full day's worth of paintballing at Powerball Ltd. The paintball venue was at close proximity by car, (except for Aardie's of course).

Wolvi once again praying to the Yeti Gods.

A Roweb girlfriend visits.

The setting:

Roweb's base of operations for that weekend was at the Hotel Quality in Andover. This was a particularly good venue in terms of power outlets and space, well suited for the physical demands of LAN partying.

The entire scene would carry our usual cosy atmosphere that we've all come to appreciate at Roweb. Facilities could have been closer, but luckily those with a car could nip out and get supplies for the needy. Although the hotel had a commendable restaurant, most people settled for delivered pizza, so Andover saw some major scooter action over the weekend. And of course we cannot forget the Hotel bar, which for some reason was to be a frequent gathering point for most of us, probably because of the tasteful wallpaper.

The first night When it comes to LAN partying, it's always amazing the extent to which people will travel. Once again Rowebers performed feats of heroism in order to get their PCs in one piece to Andover. In fact the exodus began the previous night with members of Ze Clan driving from one end of London to the other, in order to pick up all PCs from the London-based Rowebers and dumping them into a transit van. It may sound dodgy but it was a damn successful accomplishment in logistics and we also had the privilege of acquiring intimate knowledge of Brixton's back streets.

Luckily help was also at hand through our friends at Intel, Fleming, Ute and Ze Wolverine who brought the souped-up P4s and other goodies all the way from Swindon. So a big mention has to be made to all those who drove tons o' miles in the name of gaming, we couldn't have done it without you! After all the ordeals of the journey and the setting up, the rest of Friday evening was dedicated to meeting the new faces at Roweb like Phloebus, Orcas, Qazer & Grisby to name but a few, and catching up with the regulars. It wasn't long before we heard the usual screams of fervor from Ze Skull and Ze Wolverine as they simultaneously got capped by an arctic in CS (normally Armeh's). This party also gave us the chance to try out the Day of Defeat mod, which proved pretty popular. All sorts of games were going round on the first evening though most of us shortened our Friday night by catching some sleep before the early paintball rise on Saturday.

Paintball day

There were no lie-ins for the dedicated Rowebers, by 9 o'clock the dreary eyed were loaded into vehicles and smuggled through a winding, muddy track which led to the wooden encampment nestled in a small woodland, our paintball venue for the day.

Once we donned our camo- style overalls and protective masks we were given the drills from the referees, who were quite a decent bunch for paintball refs (normally a grumpy arrogant lot in my experience). After purchasing the paintballs we were handed the guns and lead to the battle-site.

During the course of the day the "oh so scary" Roweb Militia's paintball skills would pitted against the "really really tough" Ze Clan over a set of different games and terrain.

Ze Clan, in their usual style had personalized black bandanas, which were imbued with Ze Power of Ze Emperor, the Great Ginger One.

The first game was a bit slow at first, probably because we were all a bit wary of how much a speeding paintball was going to hurt. However, it was not long before the adrenaline was pumping and people were making daring runs to the opposite camp in an attempt to grab the flag.

The Bridge "map" (sorry but I have played too much CS, so I am sticking to it) consisted of the opposing camps separated surprisingly by a wooden bridge in the middle, the flag was at the central point of the bridge and had to be brought back to the base.

Of course Ze Bounce, always wanting to be Ze hero (does quite a good job of it I suppose) decided to ditch his gun and speed down the bridge before the RM Militia could get there. He failed miserably, despite the cover of smoke grenades; he did however get peppered by half of the entire RM's paintball supply, so at least it served a purpose.

Ok now one of the pinnacle events in terms of sheer ludicrousness was The Fort, this event will stay as my personal favourite, though I am sure very few people will agree with me.

The aim was to infiltrate a wooden Fort defended by turrets and only two entrances, and capture the flag at the furthest end of the Fort's entrance. The attacking side could respawn but the defenders only had one life so they had to make it count. Ze Clan were on the attacking side for the first round.

After countdown we would all sprint to the entrance of the Fort before the defenders could get to the turrets, snipe them whilst they panic and send a runner to collect the flag and win the day. Well what really happened was a little less glorious. As you would make your way to the fort you would encounter fellow teammates "stumbling" back to base in order to regenerate after being drilled with paintballs. Even our bravest, Ze Bounce could be seen hugging the side of the Fort and wincing as he received a volley of ammo in the chest, now what does that do for your morale?

Well after respawning countless times but attacking relentlessly, the defenders were slowly dwindling. Crim, was one of the last guardians who was mercilessly executed with a shot at close range to the back of the head, not pleasant, though it was the beginning of a trend which saw Crim's head being a magnet for every potential paintball J At last we had captured the flag and it was Ze Clan's turn to defend the fort.

By the resigned look of the RM faces it seemed we had won the game already, they knew what they were up against, this time we would be dishing out the pain!

After 5 mis-countdowns we all rushed to our defensive points. I was stuck with Ze Skull, Bounce & Baron. This was where the fun really began. Seeing all the RM charging hopelessly toward the fort and then doubling back in pain. Poor Shad, he always seemed to walk into my line of sight, so I had to help him on his way with a shot to the buttocks. Then later on I found him in the same place and I attempted to shoot on the same spot (the left cheek). I realized my shot was a poor one when i saw Shad groan in the sort of pain that all men understand and fear when they get hit there: the hanging bells between the towers of Babylon.

At that point I was laughing so much that I couldn't take the game seriously anymore, Skull and Baron were looking at me as if I had gone mad. I was cackling to myself and drunk with laughter, stumbling across the fort's courtyard like a mal-coordinated Protoss Dragoon.

Not even the flurry of paintballs I received on the shoulder could deter me from the grip of mirth. In the end, Ze inseparable Dumpty and Pot bravely defended the fort to the last, winning the match. Neither side really cared about winning; I think they were all relieved it was over. I wish we had recorded the event because it would have been a Roweb comical classic. There were so many other highlights during the day, and I only skimmed them.

One funny moment on the Bridge map, Crim was hiding behind some cover only a meter away from me, then we both crawled out of our hiding places and at the same time asked the other to surrender, then we both continued our own way thinking the other had agreed to surrender when in fact we didn't; then I shot Crim in the head, well not really, I didn't need to, someone else did that for me later on!

Towards the end of the day, in true Roweb solidarity style we pooled ammo together as some of us could no longer afford any more. We finished off with a free-for all, with Ze Dumpty shooting me in the back in a truly treacherous style as I attempted to snipe Ze Hothead's behind from a distance, no wait that sounds a bit dodgy, lets just say I wanted to cap him.

The scoreboards proved that Ze Clan owned RM, but I think it was because they didn't have well 'ard Aardeh with them, he was busy keeping guard of the base back at the Hotel, along with our resident "Bouncer", Brixton Massive Pheo. All in all the paintball day was a hell of a laugh despite the bruises and the expense, and as we clambered into our ve-hicles we all looked forward to an evening of intense chilling and drinking after such an arduous day.

Most of Saturday night was spent in the hotel bar, reflecting and laughing at the day's paintball antics. Then we all gathered for a slap-up meal in the hotel restaurant for more drinking, oh yes and some good food as well. In fact, a little mention must be made to the restaurant manager who handled the whole dinner situation in a professional manner despite the waiters and waitresses.

Come the late evening, we were all in super chill mood. Just the right ambience for a strategy game. So we all piled into a game of Age Of Kings. Myself, Hothead, Bounce and Pheo VS Crim, Shad and Potshot. And what a great game it was to, as our world domination was denied by Potshots clever tactic of fortifiying himself and building a Wonder.

There were a lot of driving games going round that evening, Flemming really got into the mood with his steering wheel, trying to be the next Schumacher.

Then there were the buzzing games of Rally Master, where Bounce, Dumpty and Pot (Aka Vortigen) were responsible for having me in stitches of pain through laughter at their antics and jibes, unforgettable.

Sunday morning

Despite yesterday's exercise, drinking and lack of sleep, we all managed to be alive and kicking by late morning, why waste valuable gaming time on sleep?

Today the only competition of this Roweb was being organized by Bounce and Shad, 4 teams of roughly 10 per side in a CS knockout tourney. Unfortunately our side really weren't' t up to scratch, a handful of Ze clan members and newcomers Qazer & Grisby got thrashed. It has to be said that Raven has proven that he can walk and is no longer King of Campers, shame, the old Raven will be missed.

Anyway, Chief's team won the day again, thus restoring some of RM's dented pride after the paintball defeat. Everyone goes home happy at least..

The game that dominated my Sunday afternoon was Age of Kings, once again being pitted against the dynamic duo Crim and Shad, better know as the GingerHaze crew.

Such strategies really eat into the day and it wasn't long before it was time to pack up, though Dogmeat stubbornly stayed on to the bitter end glued to his console.

After bidding farewell to the fellow Rowebers and making sure we stuck a Gamers.com sticker on their backs without noticing, we organized the long trip home.

The highlight of Sunday evening was sharing a KFC special meal deal number 2 with Shad, Chief, Raven and Baron, before dropping off the former 3 at their "middle of nowhere" homes. Shad easily has the biggest house in the whole wide world though; our next LAN venue should be there.

Well that concludes an insight into the paintball Roweb; I hope every one else had as much fun (and pain) as I did. Apologies to all those I hit in the wrong places, especially Shad. Thanks to our sponsors and friends at Intel and once again a slap on the back (certainly not the head) to meister organizer CrimsonHaze, cya all at the next one.

Until the next one, Ze Jarra out.